LOL Quotes

I love it when I buy a bag of air and the company is nice enough to put a few chips in it.

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When I clean my room: 1% Cleaning. 29% Complaining. 70% Playing with stuff I just found.

If you watch the Titanic backwards, it's a heartwarming tale about a ship that jumps out of the water and saves lots of drowning people.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Someone wrote gullible on the ceiling.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
 

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the heck is wrong with you.

I've never seen a tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding an email to 10 people."

Today I sent out a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" 12 people called me...I need smarter friends.

When I was a kid, my father convinced me that the ice cream truck only played music when it was sold out....Well played Dad, well played.

 Let's celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now.